Last two months having been heavily overwhelming at work, I struggle to try to write down meaningful pieces, afraid that the best I can strive for is factual accounting of a soulful event, but alas, if I don't, I fear my memory will fail me, and then it'll vanish amidst usual chaos of raising small children while working full time.
Jack's been alarmingly spoiled, in recent months, focusing on having & buying things, complaining of boredom, repeatedly telling us he's 'having the worst day ever', he 'hates this day'. I'm usually tolerant of typical behaviors of a child, but the entitlement undertones cut me deep, remembering what true lack looks like, how little it took to make me happy growing up in rather constrained circumstances, how creative we were in entertaining ourselves with just a handful of toys and large collection of books.
An opportunity came up recently via a talented, determined colleague who volunteers at a parish in downtown Oregon to help cook a Sunday meal for the homeless, and we've signed up. Rather, I've signed Jack and me up. A bit nervous that it may be too soon for him, but I don't think I truly was ever concerned. Maybe that he'd get intimidated by the homeless crowd? That he'd face mental instability face to face?
At any rate, as we made it through cooking a fast meal in a tight but comfortable commercial kitchen at the parish, Jack surprised me, really. He was ready to follow instructions; was willing and interested in helping; quickly oriented himself and didn't have to cling close by; and as the opportunity presented itself to step outside the kitchen and sort some donations, he went right on, without me with other folks there to help, counting goodie bags, sorting, and later handing them out to homeless men and women who were starting to gather for the meal. His open curiosity was thoughtful; his respect for these folks genuine; he wasn't not startled or shy.
It was good for me to see him work with others, quiet but cheerful, ready to help, wanting to do it right. It was good for him to feel needed, helpful, of benefit. I've asked him afterwards what he thought of our time there, and he was sincerely happy to know we helped someone, in some way. I'm relieved to have taken a chance on showing him the less fortunate way to live; a tiny bit of what happens at the margins; to remind him and me both to stay grateful for our lot while expanding our time, talent, and resources, even in the most basic of ways, to help others, to include others into our life, to blend experiences and people, to dig deeper, ever deeper into community. This foray is new to me too, but I feel the tug and pull of it so very strongly.
