What I need? Energy. I'm operating at a 60% of general 36-year-old capacity, I think. My muscles are constantly scrunched up from sitting for 8-10 hours a day; my eyes are blurry with screen time; my fight or flight response is now permanent and my jaw is constantly clenched.
Since I need to live to 100, I'm not thinking that's the way to get there?
I give in to perceived urgencies too easily. What if I don't to *that* email? What if I can't finish *this* quick side project? What if I step out for 30 minutes, and the world just ceases to spin, as it does when I stop to get out of the driver's seat for a bit?
My well-being is not at the top of my priority list, and it's my own fault. A bit of victim mentality - I exist to support everyone and therefore I cannot afford to support, to care for, me. Which is, of course, genuine BS. I'm afraid of hard work to restart my well-being and so I look for loopholes. That, of course, gets in the way of the live-to-100 plan a little, I suppose.
I should walk in the morning, and to do so, I should not waste sleeping time yet again on the internets. And here I am, though.
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